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Deracinate.

by Trophy Lives

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1.
Firespeak 04:09
Where do you draw the line? I feel like I would've felt it There's something under my skin Oh, there's something under my skin Oh I think it grows when I lie I said but I never meant it And it's getting heavy as sin Oh, it's getting heavy as sin Alright. Dear wolf: I was drawn in by your smile But I know just how sharp your teeth can be. I'd seen you move But didn't think you'd ever turn and make a move on me You'd said you were onto something big Well, yeah, you said a lot of things. I bought the smoke--I neglected the fire you'd started at my feet. Parasite, I used to feel alive until you stole that from me I'm done being nice; I'm so done with the lies And I'm so sick of the little things. You open your mouth but the things that you say don't really speak to me. Thanks to you, I've decided that Until I see I don't believe Yeah, until I see I don't believe When did you cross the line? I feel like I should've felt it I should never have let you in Oh, I should NEVER have let you in... I think it grows when I lie I think it grows when I lie When I lie-- So prepare to have your friendships capsized And prepare to have your feelings stirred I just can't keep, keep quiet While my friends all try to hide it I refuse to take you at your word Dear wolf: I admit, I was drawn in by your smile and the skin you wore But you showed me your teeth with the words that you'd speak And I won't let you bite no more... No firespeak. Don't lie to me.
2.
If my walls could talk, they might have nothing good to say of me But I swear up and down, they haven't said a word in weeks And my bedsheets, worn--they could be as white as a virgin on wedding day So I'll wash out the dirt and make haste with the irony When did my colors change, and did I get dark with age? I've lost my luster And my old lust for life--now, a lust more obscene Somehow, my song's not the same--the notes collide like trains without conductors And in the chaos, I ask what it means to be "right" or "wrong" or "in-between" ...no answers come. And I, I used to shine But I'm afraid that I will never be turned into gold In the light Well, I had diamonds--I had it all But now I'm afraid that I will never be turned into gold Some men spend entire lives searching for gold, and so many never find what they're looking for Some, if they struck it rich, they'd never know. And still fewer of us hold a bit of it in our hands, only to let it go I bet I'm one of them, I bet... I think I'm one of them (Oh, I think I've lost those notes again) (I need to see what's inside /I need to see what's inside) And I, I used to shine But I'm afraid that I will never be turned into gold In the light Well, I had diamonds--I had it all But now I'm afraid that I will never be turned into gold And I (I started beautiful and bright / now, I feel tarnished and dull) I used to shine (Been touched by the hands of time / the clock is taking its toll) But I'm afraid (No matter how hard I try / I still keep digging this hole) That I will never be turned into gold (If I can't forgive myself / If I can't forgive myself) In the light (And when my bedsheets are worn / I'll be left alone) Well, I had had diamonds (What once was keeping me warm / now just a story I've told) I had it all (No matter how hard I try / I still keep digging this hole) But now I'm afraid (If I can't forgive myself / then what's the use in a soul?) That I will never be turned into gold
3.
When I was a sapling You were as tall as my eyes could see I believed in you But my roots got strong as yours stopped growing And as I spread my limbs As I grew tall I thought I saw your shrink Well, I am a redwood now I am a skyscraper And you are nothing ...but you could still cut me down. (You always were the one to practice what you preached, But what was said that made you give up on your dreams?)
4.
When I left home, I had the sun at my back Well, now the sun's setting, and My shadow's growing longer all the time. It hurt to think of hurting my friends, but I'm a little colder now and I'll do what I have to to survive. I swear no allegiance to man No god or machine will ever have the best of me. That ship has sailed, and subsequently sunk in the deep These icebergs are bigger than you'd ever believe. And there will come a time when you feel like giving up. Well I'm so far down I'm feeling beaten around Not sure how I'm sure, but I'm sure not giving up Well, it's been two long years Trying to face my fears And I'm still so tired I'm down but not giving up Down but never giving up Down but not giving up. I remember months spent lying in bed, My every waking moment thinking, "Please just let me rest and I'll be fine." I couldn't let go, I just couldn't; Well I'm a little older now; It used to be your fault--by now it's MINE. And I look back at all the notes I wrote and the cries for help, The things that almost got the best of me. I guess it just takes time to see: These icebergs are so much bigger when you're underneath. And there will come a time when you feel like giving up. Well I'm so far down, I'm feeling beaten around Not sure how I'm sure, but I'm sure not giving up. Well it's been two long years, trying to face my fears I'm still so tired, I'm down but not giving up Down but never giving up Down but not giving up. So thanks for turning your back/I learned to stop holding my breath (Whoa, I'm not going down with this ship) So thanks for turning your back/I learned to stop holding my breath (Whoa, I'm not going down with this ship) And there was a time when I felt like giving up
5.
Come to Bed 03:04
Hey, pretty vicious: Don't think I can't see you in that dress and I've got your name on the tip of my tongue; I've got you on the tip of my tongue. And I must confess: That I'm here to disarm you and get you undressed; and after you blow like a bomb, I'll ensure that you smoke like a gun. Come to bed Clear your head Of all the things these animal bodies won't comprehend I love your sweat I love you to death When it's all said and done, we'll pretend we're sophisticated. Oh, my pretty vicious Don't act like you came here just to dance with your friends 'Cause after the nightclubs are closed, we'll be dancing in the sheets instead. Oh, it's alright-- we didn't come to the bars to find the loves of our lives but after I get you home I'll sure be the love of your night! Come to bed Clear your head Of all the things these animal bodies won't comprehend I love your sweat I love you to death When it's all said and done, we'll pretend we're sophisticated. (Oh babe, I'll make you smoke like a gun We'll dance between the sheets I'll make you smoke like a gun Hey, hey) Come to bed Clear your head Of all the things these animal bodies won't comprehend I love your sweat I love you to death When it's all said and done, we'll pretend we're sophisticated.
6.
HELL. 04:26
Well I left God When he fell reaching for my hands I said I was tired of the games and had no use for his plans He said, "my child," "I hope you undersand," "That I am the only way, the truth, the light to the promised land." So I let him go. And here's what I said, I said: "I'm on my way down and when I go to hell, I still won't believe in you." From the ground, he begged, "my son..." "by the light of the morning, you're taken," "but you haven't the slightest idea of the magnitude of what you've done..." I can't be the only one Who feels like my time's been wasted With all of the guilt that I still feel for the sins I've done And you wonder how I struggle to praise and worship you What kind of a father would kill his only son? I'm on my way down And when I go to hell I still won't believe in you. I still won't believe in you.

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Produced by Ryan Furlott at Rain City Audio, Tigard, OR

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released May 20, 2014

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